How The Quality of Your Relationships Affects Your Health

By Raquel Reis Coaching

We all want peaceful, joyful, and fulfilling relationships, but it is not always as easy, or intuitive as we’d like for it to be.

Did you know that relationships are often the # 1 predictor of our physical, emotional, mental health, and our longevity?

Did you also know that relationship stress is linked to depression, cognitive decline, and increased mortality?

The longest study by Harvard University, with more than 309,000 people, found that lack of fulfilling relationships increased the risk of premature death from all causes by 50%. This is comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day and is greater than obesity and physical inactivity.

Healthy relationships can strengthen your immune system, help you recover from disease, and even lengthen your life. The effects of a healthy relationship are just as beneficial as adequate sleep, a good diet, and a healthy lifestyle.

Yet most of us have never learned how to have healthy, vibrant, and thriving relationships.

So many individuals, families, and couples struggle, miscommunicate, and get stuck in patterns that don’t serve them, or their health!

50% of marriages end in divorce and most of those who stay together would certainly not describe their marriage as thriving.

The quality of our relationships matters!

One study found that women who were in highly satisfying marriages, or good long-term partnerships had a lower risk for cardiovascular disease, compared with those in less satisfying marriages. 

Other studies have linked disappointing, or negative interactions with poor health. 

Another research study has found reduced immunity in couples during especially hostile marital spats.

What makes social connections promote health?

Scientists have found that human connection relieves harmful levels of stress, which can harm coronary arteries, gut function, insulin regulation, and the immune system. 

Another research study suggests that caring behaviors trigger the release of stress-reducing hormones for both the giver and the receiver!

All of this is good news because we are herd animals and learning how to love and care for each other, as well as building strong relationships and social connections can improve every aspect of life.

Just as a health crisis is a signal that something isn’t working, a relationship struggle can become the catalyst for the greatest, thriving, healthy, and joyful relationship.

With the right tools and guidance It is possible to learn to:

- Communicate in new ways. 

- Get your needs met.

- Find out how your differences can work for you and get on the same page. 

- Become solution oriented in your relationships rather than problem focused.

- Be friends and teammates. 

- Hear, understand, appreciate each other, and have fun!

One impactful way to increase the health of your relationships is the concept of a LOVE ACCOUNT.

While it's important to know how to navigate differences - so many challenges can ease up when we start putting in more goodness, nurturing our friendships in positive ways.

It may feel counterintuitive (because who wants to be nice when someone is driving them crazy?)

Picture that in every interaction, you either making a deposit or a withdrawal. Even when addressing challenges.

When your love account gets low, you take things personally, you feel disconnected, reactive, resentful and something stressful can turn into a disaster.

If you have large savings in your love account, it leads to resilience, respect, a spirit of teamwork, creative problem solving, and a much easier time recovering from challenges.

Dr Gottman, a leading researcher in the science of relationships, has found that a ratio of 20:1 positive to negative interactions keeps your love account steady and overflowing (there's a scientific reason for this!).  During stressful times, you still want a 5:1 ratio.

Filling up your love account can be fun, and fulfilling if you know how to effectively fill it up.

Want to stop taking withdrawals and start making more deposits?

For a complementary Relationship Breakthrough Discovery Call - Click here to schedule

Raquel Reis is a thriving relationship coach. She helps couples and individuals turn struggles into partnership, ease, connection and love. Her mission is to help people have happy and healthy lives through strong relationships.